10 Best Jokes of the Week (as decided by me, I don’t care about your opinion)

1. Bruce Springsteen’s 1957 Chevrolet Bel Air convertible, referenced in his iconic song “Born to Run,” is up for auction. Singer Billy Ocean is thinking about selling the car from his hit “Get Out of My Dreams and Into My Car,” but can’t as of right because he is living in it.

2. Late Tuesday night actor Alan Thicke, best known for playing father Jason Seaver on “Growing Pains,” died at the age of 69. Hey, God, you took the wrong beloved TV dad from the 80s:
cosby

3. According to a new study, the use of alcohol, marijuana, prescription medications and illicit substances declined again among U.S. teens in 2016. That story again, we’re raising a bunch of nerds.

4. According to the Committee to Protect Journalist, 257 journalist have been jailed around the world over the past year. And, yet, somehow, Geraldo still roams free.

5. A charity website is auctioning off a coffee date with Ivanka Trump. “You had me at date and lost me at charity,” said Donald.

6. President-elect Donald Trump could become the first president in 150 years to take up residence at the White House without a pet. That story again, Chris Christie will not be moving into the White House.


7. President-elect Donald Trump said on Thursday the United States needed to improve its relationship with China. And, to do so, he’s gonna call Taiwan to see if they have any ideas.

8. Last month, 25 voters in Texas cast their presidential ballot for San Antonio Spurs head coach Gregg Popovich. Even crazier, under the electoral college, he somehow won the state.

9. In a new interview, actor Tom Holland said he prepared for his role in the upcoming Spiderman movie by secretly enrolling in a New York high school. If hanging around high schoolers makes you a good Spiderman then this is the role Woody Allen has been preparing for all his life.

10. Walmart has announced it will be donating the doors from Sam Walton’s first Arkansas store to the Smithsonian Museum in Washington D.C. So at least one thing from Arkansas will make it to D.C. this year:
arkansas

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