10 Best Jokes of the Week (as decided by me, I don’t care about your opinion)

1. Kylie Jenner recently admitted that she doesn’t know who she is since becoming famous, saying, “I think I lost a lot of parts of myself.” “You think you lost parts of yourself,” said Caitlyn Jenner.

2. This week it was announced that the popular basketball video game ‘NBA LIVE 18’ will feature WNBA players for the first time ever. “Oh, no, MOTHER!” yelled Mike Pence:

3. French President Emmanuel Macron has backed away from officially recognizing the role of the first lady after nearly 300,000 people signed a petition against the move. And, since this is France, I assume the result is due to the country’s very strong mistress lobby.

4. On Wednesday, the NBA announced that the Brooklyn Nets, who went 20-62 last season, will play two games in Mexico next year. In response, the Mexican President said, “When America sends its people here, they’re not sending their best.”

5. This week, North Korea released a Canadian pastor after he was sentenced to life in prison two and a half years ago. Unfortunately, they released him to Guam.

6. While President Trump is vacationing in New Jersey, the White House is undergoing a $3.4 million renovation. That story again, replacing soggy mattresses is more expensive than you thought.

7. A man who survived two days stranded in the Arizona desert, made it through by drinking beer and his own urine. When asked why he didn’t drink the six-pack of Mountain Dew he had, the man replied, “I wasn’t that desperate.”

8. According to a new report, the aviation industry could save $35 billion a year by moving to pilotless planes. Or, more likely, they’ll just start charging you an extra fee for having a pilot.

9. North Korea’s Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un on Monday vowed to continue building his country’s nuclear arsenal and threatened to unleash “thousands-fold” revenge against the U.S. Coincidentally, “thousands-fold” is also Jong Un’s body-type:

10. Last week, millions of bubbles floated across Hong Kong’s Victoria Harbor as part of a public art exhibit. Oh, sure, when they do it it’s art, but when I do it I’m “no longer welcomed at that public pool.”

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