June 28, 2017 – Monologue Jokes

1. Last year, tourists threw $2 million worth of coins in Rome’s Trevi Fountain. As a result, it now insists on being called Trevor Fountain III.

2. A Lebanese calligrapher has completed a two-year project to hand write a copy of the Koran, Islam’s holy book. Meanwhile, I’m in year three of trying to get through “Eat, Pray, Love.”

3. A nuclear power plant in the Czech Republic used a bikini contest to hire interns. “Come on, at least we have a talent portion, too,” said Fox News.

4. A nuclear power plant in the Czech Republic used a bikini contest to hire interns. The winner was able to both separate an atom and stimulate an Adam.

5. According to ‘The Washington Post,’ a framed edition of ‘Time Magazine’ with President Trump on the cover that hangs in many of his golf clubs is actually a fake. Which makes me wonder if he was really named People’s Sexiest Man of 2005:

6. Taco Bell is offering a $600 wedding package at its Las Vegas location. The theme of every wedding there will be ‘Bad Decisions.’

7. According to a new survey, an overwhelming majority of people in other countries have no confidence in President Trump’s ability to lead. And a majority in this country as well:

8. A New York man was charged with disorderly conduct after using the free WiFi at a Pennsylvania McDonald’s to watch porn on his tablet. Said the man, “That special sauce isn’t gonna make itself.”

9. A New Zealand duo set a world record for the longest throw and catch of an unbroken egg at over 265 feet. But, as a precaution, all the king’s horses and all the king’s men were onsite just in case.

10. According to a new study, listening to Justin Bieber music while eating can make your food taste bad. Although, if you’re eating at a Guy Fieri restaurant it’s kinda hard to determine what caused what.

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