10 Best Jokes of the Week (as decided by me, I don’t care about your opinion)

1. According to a new study, enduring unkind co-workers and bosses can have a negative effect on your health. Don’t believe me? This is what Sean Spicer looked like a year ago:

2. According to reports, Russian hackers infiltrated voter databases in 39 states during the 2016 presidential election. Which means, in the run up to the election, even the Russians visited more states than Hillary.

3. On Tuesday, the Clemson Tigers visited the White House four months after winning the college football championship. I’m not sure why it took four months for them to visit the White House, but, if history is any guide, I’d guess because they’re married to the president:

4. Today is President Trump’s 71st birthday. That story again, Donald Trump was born 71 years ago today just in case there are any time travelers out there who were wondering.

5. President Trump reportedly told British Prime Minister Theresa May that he wants to postpone his state visit to the U.K. if large-scale protests disrupt his trip. “I completely understand,” said May:

6. On Friday, in response to the U.S. pulling out the Paris Climate Accord, Germany’s Environmental Minister said that the climate will last longer than the Trump presidency. But to be fair, I think I have some milk in my fridge that will outlast the Trump presidency.

7. Vice President Mike Pence’s family cat, Oreo, died last week. Eric and Don Jr. have been named as ‘persons of interest’:

8. According to Nielsen data, Former FBI Director James Comey’s testimony before Congress last week drew 19.5 million viewers. Said President Trump, “That’s nothing! My obstruction of justice trial will bring in way more!”

9. The 2020 Summer Olympics in Tokyo have added 15 events, including six events that involve men and women competing on mixed teams. Or, as Mike Pence refers to it, adultery.

10. The inventor of the Hawaiian pizza died over the weekend at the age of 83. To make sure his body stays fresh, they put one of these in his casket:

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