10 Best Jokes of the Week (as decided by me, I don’t care about your opinion)

1. A 25-year-old woman faces drug charges after police say she handed a detective a partially smoked “blunt” while getting out of a vehicle during a traffic stop. But, in her defense, she needed to get her license and registration and her other hand was busy holding her beer.

2. The service dog of a Virginia high school student got its own headshot in the yearbook. Which makes the fact that Mike Rositano was still voted “Most Likely to Lick Himself in Public” even more embarrassing.

3. A man was arrested early Thursday morning after he backed a tractor-trailer through the front doors of the Moonlite Bunny Ranch brothel. Because, as everyone knows, if you want to use the backdoor you have to negotiate that beforehand.

4. On Wednesday, Pope Francis jokingly asked First Lady Melania Trump what she feeds the President. I don’t know, but if I had to guess, I’d say increasingly larger amounts of arsenic.

5. A black man, who underwent a penis transplant, will have his new appendage completely tattooed because the donor was white. But it still won’t change the fact that apparently he’s Jewish now.

6. A Wikipedia page dedicated to Hillary Clinton redirected to Adolf Hilter’s autobiography ‘Mein Kampf’ on Monday for over 16 hours. Even more surprising, Steve Bannon’s page didn’t.

7. On Monday, a four-by-four foot sink hole formed in front of President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida. That story again, Trump still has a direct line of communication with Roger Ailes.

8. A big game hunter in Africa died after a shot elephant fell on him. The coroner listed his cause of death as “two tons of irony.”

9. According to a new report, former FBI Director James Comey once tried to blend into the curtains in the Oval Office to avoid being seen by President Trump. “Find you own hiding spot,” said Melania, who was already in those curtains.

10. Fox News on Friday announced that it had fired “The Five” co-host Bob Beckel for an untoward remark he made to an employee of color. Fox News said they cannot support that type of inflammatory language directed at an African-American unless that person is the president.

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