2. President Trump recently suggested that chief of staff Reince Priebus might someday run a car company. Makes sense, he can go from selling an orange to selling a lemon.
4. On Friday, the Secret Service said a man who jumped over the White House fence last week was on the grounds for 16 minutes before he was apprehended. And, if you think that’s bad, a crazy person has been on the premises for the past 59 days:
5. According to a new study, men who routinely do intense or long workouts may have a lower than average libido. “You may want to reexamine those numbers,” said Arnold Schwarzenegger’s exhausted maid.
6. In a recent interview, Rodrigo Alves, the man known as “The Human Ken Doll,” said after 50 plastic surgeries he can’t breathe properly. Although, to be fair, I doubt there was a time when enough oxygen was ever getting to his brain.
7. According to research, the Tsimane people who live in the forests of Bolivia have the healthiest hearts in the world. In response, former President Bill Clinton asked, “What’s they’re secret?” while current President Donald Trump asked, “What’s a heart?”
9. The Department of Homeland Security has requested proposals for the Mexican border, saying ideally it should be 30 feet high and the wall facing the U.S. side should be “aesthetically pleasing in color.” And, considering it’s the Trump administration that’s making the request, I’m guessing “aesthetically pleasing in color” means white.
10. Over the weekend, the NSA called allegations from the White House that President Obama directed a British spy agency to wiretap Donald Trump during the presidential campaign “arrant nonsense.” Although it is weird that the NSA misspelled “Aryan.”