10 Best Jokes of the Week (as decided by me, I don’t care about your opinion)

1. MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” has banned Trump aid Kellyanne Conway from appearing on the show. Which is a nice start, but, as everyone knows, there is only one way to get rid of her for good:
wicked-witch

2. On Wednesday, the White House announced that President Trump will not fill out an NCAA March Madness bracket. Which makes sense, I’m not sure Trump should be making any plans that involve him being president in March.

3. A new movie streaming service called Brown Sugar, which highlights so-called blaxploitation films, is now available for $3.99 a month. And, only $4.99 if you’re ‘The Man.’

4. On Monday, Playboy said its 2015 decision to stop publishing photos of naked women “was a mistake” and will reintroduce nudity in its next issue. Said the Playboy CEO, “Turns out you assholes were all lying about reading the articles.”

5. Scientists have observed dolphins in Australia using blowfish to get high. Although, technically, that’s Hootie:
hootie

6. Yesterday, Nick Cannon announced that he is leaving NBC’s “America’s Got Talent.” That story again, this is the last time you’ll ever hear the words ‘Nick Cannon’ and ‘talent’ in the same sentence.

7. The oldest living person in America, Adele Dunlap of New Jersey, died on Sunday at the age of 114. She’s in a much better place now, mainly not New Jersey.

8. CNN anchor Chris Cuomo said last week, using the term ‘fake news’ towards journalist is equivalent to saying racial slurs like the n-word. Said President Trump, “Well, I’m running out of things to call Don Lemon.”

9. A man in Plymouth, Massachusetts, angry at the town’s decision to build a statue of a Shakespeare character, announced plans to build a rival statue across the street of an erect penis. Although, according to the man’s wife, it would be more apt to call it memorial.

10. A newspaper in the Dominican Republic is apologizing after publishing a photo of the Alec Baldwin alongside a caption identifying him as, “Donald Trump, president of the USA.” The newspaper is also apologizing for mistakenly referring to this picture of an angry thumb as “Press Secretary Sean Spicer”:
thumb

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