1. At last count, Donald Trump has been named in 41 federal lawsuits since in his presidential inauguration. “Wow, even I think that’s a lot of lawsuits,” said Bill Cosby.
2. Late Monday night, the Chicago Sky sent Elena Delle Donne, the WNBA’s MVP in 2015, to the Washington Mystics. So, if you’re an Elena Delle Donne fan who owns a now-out-of-date Chicago Sky jersey, Hi Mr. and Mrs. Della Donne.
3. Two Burger King employees were arrested last week for selling weed through the drive thru. Which is the perfect crime, because my immediate thought after leaving a Burger King is always, how can I forget this ever happened?
4. According to a new study, being naked makes us happier and more satisfied with our bodies. The study was apparently conducted by the guy who lives on the eighth floor in the building across the street from me.
5. Yesterday a spokesperson announced that Jared Kushner, President Trump’s son-in-law and senior advisor, has sold his share in 666 Fifth Avenue, a 39-story office building in Manhattan. The spokesperson said Kushner being involved in a property with the address 666 was “a little too on the nose.”
6. A baby dolphin in Argentina died last week after tourists pulled it out of the ocean to take selfies with it. The last time someone made the bad decision of taking a picture of something they pulled out, Anthony Weiner was still a Congressman.
7. A pastor in Florida was forced to flee a house naked when he was caught having sex with another man’s wife. The husband initially thought his wife might be praying because he saw the pastor’s car in the driveway and heard his wife yelling “Jesus Christ!”
8. A set of twins in the U.K. survived by holding hands in the womb. Further proving that the buddy system works.
9. Hooters announced yesterday that it will be launching a new fast-casual version of their restaurant under the name Hoots. So gone are the old days were you had to get all dressed up in your fanciest cargo shorts and tank top to get some wings.
10. It was announced on Tuesday that Oprah Winfrey will be joining “60 Minutes” as a special contributor. This marks the first time a talk show host will appear on a evening news magazine program since Richard Dawson’s appearance on “Dateline: To Catch A Predator.”