10 Best Jokes of the Week (as decided by me, I don’t care about your opinion)

1. Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto on Sunday defended his decision to host a visit by U.S. presidential candidate Donald Trump to Mexico, but he said it could have been carried out “in a better way.” For instance:firing-squad

2. Monday night, at a campaign rally in Florida, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump hugged an American flag onstage. “Aha! So he is capable of hugging,” said Eric and Don Jr.

3. There is a company in New Mexico that will make a ceramic mug out of the ashes of your loved ones. So, even if you don’t care for coffee, you can still have a cup of Joe in the morning.

4. According to a new study, women experiencing menopause symptoms like hot flashes and sleeping problems do better if they have a comfortable workplace and a supportive boss. In other words, Omarosa is fucked.

5. During a campaign rally on Sunday in Florida, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump said he wants to continue having “Trump rallies” for the next eight years. Yeah, they will, they’re called NASCAR races.

6. According to new guidelines, infants should sleep in the same bedroom as their parents for at least the first six months of their lives to minimize the risk of sleep-related deaths. And, just to be on the safe side, Donald Trump has insisted on sleeping in the same bed as his daughter Ivanka for the past 30 years.

7. A mom in New York started a website called “Sh*t My Kids Ruined” full of pictures of things her children have destroyed. And, considering her first child was 12 pounds, 8 ounces and she didn’t have a c-section, so you can probably guess what the first picture she posted was of.

8. An American team of robots defeated an Australian team of robots in soccer on Monday to win the RoboCup Challenge. So, unfortunately, in the future it looks like we’ll still have soccer.

9. During Thursday night’s Al Smith Dinner in New York, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump compared himself to Jesus, saying he too started out as a carpenter for his father. And, with any luck, the stories will end the same way too.

10. Iranian President Hassan Rouhani said on Sunday the harsh exchanges in the presidential debates pointed to a lack of morality in America. Specifically, the part where they let a woman speak her mind part.

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