10 Best Jokes of the Week (as decided by me, I don’t care about your opinion)

1. In an effort to reach younger voters, British Prime Minister David Cameron has joined Tinder. Cameron has also joined AirBnB to find a new place to sleep after his wife found out that he joined Tinder.

2. Donald Trump on Wednesday unveiled a list of 11 judges he would consider nominating to fill the seat of late Justice Antonin Scalia on the Supreme Court. Trump noted that this was only a preliminary list and a lot would depend on how the candidates did in the swimsuit competition.

3. The Belgian city of Bruges is building a pipeline that will run under the city that will only transport beer. But, until construction is finished, Coors Light is still your best bet to drink a beer that tastes like its been in a sewer underneath a city.

4. In a recent interview, former presidential candidate Ben Carson said that Sarah Palin, Ted Cruz, John Kasich and Marco Rubio are on Donald Trump’s shortlist for Vice Presidential running-mates. Although, it should be noted that it’s only a shortlist because Trump’s tiny little hands got tired after writing four names.

5. According to the new jobs report, America has a near record 5.8 million current job openings. “I’ll do them,” said Steve Harvey.

6. Paul McCartney, the Rolling Stones, Neil Young and Bob Dylan will all be part of a concert tour later this year in California called ‘Desert Trip.’ They chose that name, presumably, because ‘Antiques Roadshow’ was already taken.

7. Susannah Mushatt Jones, the world’s oldest person, died on Friday at the age of 116. There was no need to cremate her because she was already 80% dust.

8. Last week, Pizza Hut set a new world record for highest altitude pizza delivery after dropping off a pie at 5,897 feet on the top of Mount Kilimanjaro. And no one was more relived when Pizza Hut said they would deliver to the top of Mount Kilimanjaro than Luke, the climber the rest of the group decided looked the most delicious.

9. A man in New York’s Times Square who gives away free hugs was arrested over the weekend for punching a man in the face. He punched him instead of hugging him, or, as Chris Brown thinks of it, “What’s the difference?”

10. Last week, a woman drove her car into a lake because she was following the directions provided by her GPS. But, in the GPS’s defense, she did ask for directions to Chappaquiddick.

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