10 Best Jokes of the Week (as decided by me, I don’t care about your opinion)

1. In a recent interview, Donald Trump’s wife Melania said her husband’s ‘amazing mind’ helped her fall for him. So I guess ‘mind’ translates to ‘money’ in Slovenian.

2. Officials at a Super PAC aimed at taking down Donald Trump said recently there is no silver bullet to get rid of Trump. Although, three years of marriage to the same woman seems to do the trick.

3. On Wednesday, Carla Hayden was nominated by President Obama to be the next Librarian of Congress. Hayden’s friends and families celebrated the nomination where upon Hayden immediately shushed them.

4. According to a new study, Baghdad, Iraq is the least livable city in the world. You’d be shocked what it costs to rent a nice spider-hole there these days.

5. Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush dropped out of the race over the weekend after spending over $150 million without winning a single primary. Jeb may not be qualified to be president, but, with a track record like that, he could easily run the Knicks.

6. This week, Waze, Google’s navigation app, added the voice of actor Morgan Freeman as an option to give directions. Unsurprisingly, the Freeman voice ends every direction given to the driver with “Yes, Miss Daisy.”

7. It was announced on Tuesday that London’s new subway line, connecting east and west London, will be named after Queen Elizabeth. And, if it’s anything like New York’s subway lines, someone will definitely show you their crown jewels.

8. Fewer babies were born in Italy in 2015 than in any year since the modern state was founded 154 years ago. Although, if I know anything about Italian men, it’s not from a lack of trying.

9. Funny man Will Ferrell was seen campaigning for Hillary Clinton alongside Bill Clinton in Nevada over the weekend. Hillary said it was great to have the star of “the Ladies Man” campaigning for her, and also Will.

10. In a recent news article, Kim Kardashian said she makes a make-shift bra out of gaffers tape before red carpet events to make her breasts look better. As a result, horny teenage boys have to be more specific now when typing “Kim Kardashian” and “tape” into Google.

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