December 2, 2015 – Monologue Jokes

1. Digital Chinese toymaker VTech said on Tuesday that the data of about 6.4 million children was exposed in a hack on their company last week. And that was just the kids who make the toys.

2. Starting this week, fans of “A Christmas Story” will have the chance to bid for the right to celebrate the season by staying in the Cleveland house made famous by the popular 1983 holiday film. But, as a reminder, not going to Cleveland still remains free.

3. On Tuesday, Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and wife Priscilla welcomed their new baby daughter Max into the world. Now, if there was only a place where they could annoy their friends with way too many pictures of the kid.

4. Finland’s Nokia on Tuesday said it will price its virtual reality camera at $60,000 and begin its shipments in the first quarter of next year. Ironically, the only place you’ll be able to afford one is in virtual reality.

5. Disability advocates are in an uproar over a photo-spread of Kylie Jenner which contained pictures of her posing in a wheelchair appeared online on Tuesday. Which is surprising, since, according to the tabloids, she has no problem “getting around town.”

6. On Tuesday, Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg and his wife said they plan to give away 99 percent of their fortune in Facebook stock to charity. Which can only mean one thing, the Winklevoss twins decided to give away stock in their company on Monday.

7. In a recent interview, Republican Donald Trump said it is “highly unlikely” that he will ever use nuclear weapons as president. Which is good news for North Korea and even better news for Rosie O’Donnell.

8. Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson traveled to Jordan on Friday to visit with Syrian refugees. Because, apparently, the refugees haven’t suffered enough.

9. Soccer world body FIFA, mired in the worst scandal in its history, is giving 48 Swiss watches worth up to $25,000 each to a children’s soccer charity after a year cajoling officials who received them from Brazilian soccer authorities to give them up. And, in return, that children’s soccer charity has agreed to throw their next three matches.

10. A hunter in France, who was shot after his dog knocked the man’s gun to the ground, jumped on the gun and shot him in the arm, is currently resting comfortably in a hospital and expected to make a full recovery. Unless, of course, his dog can find the plug.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.