10 Best Jokes of the Week (as decided by me, I don’t care about your opinion)

1. This week, eight lions, a puma, two bobcats and a coyote, rescued from circuses in Mexico, arrived safely at their new home at a wildlife refuge center in Colorado. But, for some reason, the donkey was perfectly happy in Mexico and refused to leave.

2. Yesterday, Josh Duggar, the disgraced star of the cancelled reality show “19 Kids and Counting,” checked himself into rehab. And, if you thought having 19 kids was scary, it’s even worse when you’re seeing double.

3. On Sunday, rapper Wiz Khalifa was arrested at LAX for riding a hoverboard. Thus concluding our weekly feature of ‘News Stories Most Likely to Confuse your Grandma.’

4. On Tuesday, a Miami couple got married underwater off the coast of Florida’s Key Largo. Unfortunately, the best man held his breath too long and lost consciousness, but, on the plus-side, he counted as the couple’s ‘something blue.’

5. A message in a bottle that is over 100 years old washed up on a German beach this week. Unfortunately, the message read, “Send help ASAP.”

6. Actress Julianne Moore is heading a petition drive to rename the high school she attended in Virginia, J.E.B. Stuart High School, which honors a Confederate general. Which seems noble until you hear that she wants to rename it Julianne Moore High School.

7. According to reports, Vice President Joe Biden received President Obama’s “blessing” to make a 2016 bid for the White House. Barack’s exact words were, “Hell, you can have the job right now.”

8. Kentucky’s Republican Party voted Saturday to move their presidential nominating event from a May primary to a March caucus, a victory for Sen. Rand Paul, who will be able to seek re-election to the Senate while continuing his White House bid. Said the Paul campaign director, “Well, at least we’ll get some use out of these ‘Victory’ banners.”

9. Over the weekend, Donald Trump held a pep rally in an Alabama high school football stadium that drew more than 30,000 supporters. Many were excited to see Trump and a high school for the first time.

10. In a recent interview, Donald Trump said he is so popular with voters because he is not a puppet. Said fellow candidate Bobby Jindal, “Neither am I ever since I made that wish to be a ‘real boy.’”

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