10 Best Jokes of the Week (as decided by me, I don’t care about your opinion)

1. Wednesday was both National Vinyl Records day and National Middle Child day. So, if you know a middle child, hopefully you wished them a happy Vinyl Records day.

2. Yesterday it was announced that the long-running PBS children’s series “Sesame Street” will switch to the uncensored, pay channel HBO. Said Cookie Monster, “Now I can finally tell you what else ‘C’ is for.”

3. Yesterday it was announced that the long-running PBS children’s series “Sesame Street” will switch to the uncensored, pay channel HBO. HBO hasn’t aired a show featuring the many infantile characters who can’t read since “Entourage” went off the air.

4. A new study found that elementary schoolers are being given more homework than recommended by experts. While another study found that most experts are just two kids on each other’s shoulders in a lab coat.

5. Justin Bieber announced this week that he will release a new album on November 13th. Which I assume is a Friday.

6. A leading scientist recently said that sex with robots will be common-place in fifty years. At which point Ann Romney will be regarded as a trailblazer.

7. Kim Kardashian posed for a selfie with Hillary Clinton over the weekend. Said Bill, “Well, there’s at least one picture of Kim I can’t masturbate to.”

8. Last week, former President George W. Bush showed up to a Houston courthouse for jury duty. Whereupon he proceeded to giggle every time someone said “duty.”

9. Scientists have announced that they will attempt to cut down on greenhouse gas emissions by limited flatulence in cows. Said the scientists, “No matter how much they ask us, we will not being pulling their hooves anymore.”

10. According to Nielson, the Republican primary debate that aired on FoxNews last week drew 24 million viewers. Or, as Donald Trump calls it, 3 billion.

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