1. The International Astronomical Union is offering the public a chance to choose the name for 20 far away planetary systems that include 15 stars and 32 exoplanets. “Please, just number them,” said 4th grade science students.

2. The International Astronomical Union is offering the public a chance to choose the name for 20 far away planetary systems that include 15 stars and 32 exoplanets. Said Bill Clinton, “I’d like to name one after my wife because she too is a distant, cold being on which no man can survive.”

3. On Wednesday, Forbes magazine named Maria Sharapova the highest paid female athlete, raking in $29.2 million. A woman hasn’t been paid that much money for grunting since Charlie Sheen was in his hey-day.

4. Authorities have accused Brandi Lee Weaver-Gates, Miss Pennsylvania U.S International, of faking cancer as part of an elaborate scheme to raise thousands of dollars. Authorities became suspicious when her talent portion was money laundering.

5. According to EW, actress Sofia Vergara has been cast as Bart Simpson’s teacher in an upcoming episode of “the Simpsons.” “Who cares?” said Smithers.

6. On Tuesday, New Hampshire reversed course by allowing voters to take ‘ballot selfies’ while in the voting booth. But please note, it is still illegal to post a picture of your ‘hanging chad.’

7. On Wednesday, Arkansas bought drugs it planned to use for lethal injections as it moves ever closer to ending a decade-long hiatus in executions. Although if you had told me those drugs were being used so that there are less people from Arkansas in the world, I would have chipped in a few bucks.

8. A leading scientist recently said that sex with robots will be common-place in fifty years. At which point Ann Romney will be regarded as a trailblazer.

9. Yesterday, Bristol Palin announced on her blog that she is supporting Donald Trump for president. So if you take your voting cues from Bristol Palin, you were probably already voting for Trump anyway.

10. According to a new survey, ‘moist’ is the word that women find the most unpleasant. Which may explains why the Pillsbury Doughboy is still single.