10 Best Jokes of the Week (as decided by me, I don’t care about your opinion)

1. According to a new poll, likely Democratic runner-up Bernie Sanders would beat Republican frontrunner Donald Trump if the general presidential election were held today. No word on whether the flying pigs would be allowed to vote as well.

2. EuroDisney in Paris is being accused of over-charging Germans, sometimes double the normal ticket prices, to get into the park. Even more infuriating for those Germans, once they got inside the park, it was filled with children’s laughter.

3. A mobile home belonging to the daughter of Oklahoma Governor Mary Fallin will be removed from its parking spot on the grounds of the governor’s mansion after it was found to be in violation of zoning laws. Apparently, the trailer was blocking access to the outhouse.

4. Ukraine has banned French actor Gerard Depardieu from entering the country in response to comments he made in which he appeared to support Russia’s annexation of Crimea last year. Vatican City has also banned Depardieu from stepping foot in its country because they don’t think he’ll fit.

5. On Tuesday, the Arizona Cardinals made history by hiring the first female coach in NFL history. Begging the question, if that’s true, who’s been teaching the Jets quarterbacks to throw these past few years?

6. Last week, Senator Marco Rubio said that Donald Trump’s campaign has not conducted itself in a “dignified way.” Trump responded by calling Rubio’s mother a whore.

7. Three man in Florida are recovering after being struck by lightning at America’s largest public nude beach. Unsurprisingly, seeing three guys get hit by lightning was not even close to the most disturbing thing most beachgoers saw that day.

8. In a recent interview, actor Tom Cruise said he would be open to reprising his 1980s role as U.S. Navy pilot Maverick in a possible sequel to “Top Gun.” “Can we make it a prequel?” said Goose.

9. Fiat Chrysler will recall 1.4 million vehicles to install security software to prevent hackers from gaining remote control of the engine and steering capabilities. Up until this point, the most effective security Fiat had against criminals was being a Fiat.

10. Sony has signed a near seven figure deal to make a movie about emojis. The only question is will Adam Sandler or Johnny Depp star in it?

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