10 Best Jokes of the Week (as decided by me, I don’t care about your opinion)

1. The California ALCU launched a mobile app on Thursday that will let bystanders record cell phone videos of police misconduct and then send the footage to the organization’s computer server. And, in future news, the ACLU’s computer server has exploded.

2. In a recent interview, Kendall Jenner said she had a tough time breaking into the modeling business. She said her big break came the moment she said she wanted to be a model.

3. According to Star magazine, actor Leonardo DiCaprio is hooked on the dating app Tinder. Although, I saw ‘the Great Gatsby,’ and if he ever wants to get his hands on an Oscar, his best bet is Grindr.

4. According to a recent Instagram photo, the cast members of the old Disney ‘Lizzie McGuire’ had an impromptu and unplanned reunion. “I didn’t do it on purpose, it just ended up that way,” said the shift-manager at Applebees.

5. In a recent interview, Mama June from “Here Comes Honey Boo-Boo” revealed that she’s bisexual. Which is the best example ever of the phrase “Beggars can’t be choosers.”

6. The in-house investigators assigned to look into Brian Williams’ past reports have documented at least 10 instances of exaggerations and embellishments. Even worse, before Williams reported on the findings, it was only 6 instances.

7. China is cracking down on the popular trend of hiring strippers to perform at funerals. Said the Chinese government, “There should only be one stiff in the room.”

8. About a dozen Native American actors walked off the set of Adam Sandler’s latest movie saying the script was insulting to their people. And by “their people” I assume they meant people with brains.

9. In a recent interview, former Republican Senator Rick Santorum said he would not attend the wedding of a gay friend or loved one. “Why are we the ones being punished?” said Santorum’s straight friends.

10. In his recent sit-down interview with Diane Sawyer, Bruce Jenner revealed that he is transitioning into a woman and is also a Republican. Which means, once Bruce’s transition is complete, it will be yet another case of a old Republican man telling a women what she can and can’t do with her body.

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