10 Best Jokes of the Week (as decided by me, I don’t care about your opinion)

1. Harvard University has started offering a new class as part of its annual sex week called Anal Sex 101. Really? Seems like more of a Brown University class.

2. According to reports, the Today show may hire Pippa Middleton as a correspondent. Which means Al Roker won’t be the only one on the show who never makes it to the throne.

3. A yet-to be-named new international, multi-sport event, featuring games including flag football, skateboarding and jet ski races, may be added to the global sports calendar in 2017. I’m not sure what they will end of calling it, but I’m positive it will be sponsored by Axe Body Spray.

4. FIFA has apologized to Ukraine for an error during last week’s presentation of the 2018 World Cup logo in Moscow which showed the Crimean Peninsula as part of the Russian Federation. Although, to be fair, by 2018 it will probably be accurate.

5. Police in San Francisco are seeking clues as to how a bag of meth turned up in the Halloween candy of a 8-year-old girl. Said the girl, “I don’t know what happened, I was the one who knocked.”

6. On Tuesday, a federal judge in Kansas ruled that the state’s ban on same sex marriage violates the U.S. Constitution. Which means, in the near future, Dorothy may not be able to tell the difference between Kansas and Oz. “I think we may still be in Kansas, Toto.”

7. Yesterday McDonalds released a video showing how the McRib is made. I’m no expert in copyright infringement, but I think the makers of “2 Girls, 1 Cup” may have a case.

8. A fully operational Apple computer that company co-founder Steve Jobs sold out of his parent’s garage in 1976 for $600 will hit the auction block in December, where it is expected to fetch more than half a million dollars. Which seems like a lot, but you have to remember that it does’t come preloaded with any U2 songs.

9. For Halloween, President Obama and the First Lady handed out a sugar cookie, kettle corn, jellybeans and an apple to all trick-or-treaters. Said tricks-or-treaters, “I hopped the White House fence for this?”

10. On Saturday night, embers from fireworks at Disney’s Magic Kingdom in Florida ignited a small fire on the Seven Dwarfs Mine Train ride. Or, as it will be known from now on, the Six Dwarfs Mine Train ride. RIP Dopey.

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