1. Harvard University has started offering a new class as part of its annual sex week called Anal Sex 101. Really? Seems like more of a Brown University class.
2. Former Navy Seal Robert O’Neill said in an interview with the Washington Post that he was the one who fired the final shot to kill Osama bin Laden in 2011. “Well there go any plans to ever take a trip to the Middle East,” said every other Robert O’Neill.
3. Former Navy Seal Robert O’Neill said in an interview with the Washington Post that he was the one who fired the final shot to kill Osama bin Laden in 2011. Or, more accurately, O’Neill was telling any who would listen, and a Washington Post reporter just happened to be nearby.
4. Phil Rudd, the drummer for legendary rock band AC/DC, has been charged with attempting to have two men killed. If convicted, experts predict he could be sentenced to the most ironic use of the electric chair ever.
5. A newly published U.S. Army regulation says a service member can be referred to as a “Negro” when describing African American personnel. Although you may want to re-thing that if they’re carrying their government issued firearm.
6. A Kuwaiti man with minimal ties to al Qaeda, who was in Afghanistan days after 9/11, was released from the U.S. military prison in Guantanamo Bay on Tuesday, where he’s been held for the last 12 years. So if he wasn’t pissed at America before…
7. Yesterday, the NFL announced the teams that will play games in London next year, a list that includes the Buffalo Bills, the Jacksonville Jaguars and the New York Jets. Although it should be noted that the NFL only bought the Jaguars one-way plane tickets.
8. Yesterday, the NFL announced that teams that will play games in London next year, a list that includes the Buffalo Bills, the Jacksonville Jaguars and the New York Jets. Because, apparently, it’s not illegal to export crap.
9. Rock legends The Rolling Stones have canceled an upcoming concert in Australia after lead singer Mick Jagger was diagnosed with a throat infection. Or, as it is more commonly known, rigor mortis.
10. According to a Columbia University statistician, the tale that New York City is home to 8 million rats, one for every person, is an exaggeration, with the actual number closer to 2 million. Although, it will climb to 2 million and one if the Yankees reinstate A-Rod.
11. The world’s rarest postage stamp, the 1856 British Guiana One-Cent Magenta, will go on display at the National Postal Museum in Washington next year. Where it will undoubtedly underwhelm literally hundreds of kids on school field trips.
12. For the first time ever, Burger King has beaten McDonalds in sales. Experts attribute this to President Obama’s recent endorsement of McDonalds.
13. On Tuesday, voters in Arkansas chose to end alcohol prohibition in the state’s large number of dry counties. Wait, all this time that’s been you sober, Arkansas?
14. Facebook said requests by governments for user information rose by a quarter in the first half of 2014 when compared to the second half of last year. But, to be fair, the majority of those requests were from Italy’s Silvio Berlusconi asking for the email addresses of a bunch of 20-year-old chicks.
15. On Friday, scientists discovered a completely new species of frog in New York City. So now Terry Richardson is the second slimiest thing living in NYC.
16. According to reports, the Today show may hire Pippa Middleton as a correspondent. Which means Al Roker won’t be the only one on the show who never makes it to the throne.