10 Best Jokes of the Week (as decided by me, I don’t care about your opinion)

1. Stars who have used drugs, visited prostitutes or been involved in other law-breaking activities will not be allowed to appear on Chinese television, movie screens or other forms of broadcast, state media said on Thursday. Which explains why their version of the hit CBS show is entitled “One and a Half Men.”

2. China is on the hunt for a Siberian tiger released into the wild by Russian President Vladimir Putin, state media said on Thursday, after the animal roamed into the communist country. And you can tell it’s Putin’s tiger because it has no respect for borders.

3. During a special meeting called by Pope Francis this week, Cardinals met with married couples to discuss the importance of sex. And, unlike most meetings with Cardinals on this subject, it didn’t end with a discussion about the importance of keeping a secret.

4. According to a new study, the average person picks up their smartphone over 1,000 times a week. That’s crazy because it also means that, at some point, people are putting down their smartphones.

5. A 90-year-old woman whose California chinchilla farm was purchased and shut down by PETA has sued the group, claiming they falsely portrayed her as an animal abuser. Although she didn’t help her cause when she showed up to court in a full-length chinchilla fur coat.

6. According to a new study, young kids who were exposed to BPA before birth are more likely to have a wheeze before the age of five. Also a contributing factor to developing a wheeze, marrying George Jefferson.

7. During a question and answer session at Harvard, Joe Biden said being Vice President can be “a bitch.” But if you ask me, that’s just Biden wanting to be President and trying to convince Hillary she’d be a better fit for VP.

8. In a recent interview, Vladimir Putin said Ukraine has always been and would continue to be the closet sister nation to Russia. And just like a sister, Putin is insisting that they have the same name.

9. A new study has found that Viagra can cause blindness in 1 out of 50 men. And, depending on who you’re married to, that could also help with the problem.

10. Last night, New England Patriot Tom Brady became only the sixth quarterback in NFL history to throw for over 50,000 career passing yards. Brady proves what you can do when you work hard, believe in yourself and play the Jets twice a year.

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