10 Best Jokes of the Week (as decided by me, I don’t care about your opinion)

1. A new study suggests, people who work in offices with more plants tend to be happier. This according to “High Times” magazine.

2. A student at a Florida high school was forced to remove his costume after he came to school spirit day dressed as a condom. “A what?” said school slut Becky.

3. Troubled former teen star Amanda Bynes was arrested over the weekend on a misdemeanor charge of driving under the influence of drugs in Los Angeles. Bynes reportedly failed the roadside sobriety test when she identified herself.

4. Russian Scientists say they have discovered a fish with human-like teeth. Which, I’m guessing, in Russia means no teeth.

5. New grandmother Hillary Clinton was presented with a slew of gifts, mostly books, for her new granddaughter, Monday afternoon at private New York City fundraiser. The presents included a special edition of Dr. Suess’s “Oh, The Places You’ll Go.” Spoiler alert, those places are Iowa, New Hampshire, Colorado and then Minnesota.

6. The Colorado Supreme Court on Tuesday heard arguments over whether employees can be fired for using medical marijuana, which is legal in the state, but illegal under federal law. It marked the first time that a group of people in Colorado, dressed in the same robes that they wore yesterday, had a conversation solely about marijuana, since the day before.

7. Scientists at the University of Rochester claim to have developed a Harry Potter-like invisibility cloak. The way it works is you go out in public and tell people you’re a scientist at the University of Rochester.

8. Chelsea Clinton gave birth to a healthy baby girl early Friday morning in New York. “No Bill, you’re using it wrong,” said the guy who passed out the cigars.

9. Thirteen Tennessee teens escaped from the Woodland Hills Youth Development Center on Friday, the same juvenile detention center in Nashville where 32 escaped earlier this month. But, on the plus-side, looks like those exercises on teamwork seem to be working.

10. According to reports, George Clooney’s weekend wedding was a star-studded affair which included Brat Pitt, Sandra Bullock and Bono. Although, as is quickly becoming U2’s custom, Bono showed up despite the fact that no one invited him.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.