10 Best Jokes of the Week (as decided by me, I don’t care about your opinion)

1. Yesterday, Kim Kardashian revealed that her daughter North West had taken her first steps. But, if she’s anything like her mother, I’m sure she still feels more comfortable on her knees.

2. The Women’s Football Hall of Fame is set to open in Rock Hill, South Carolina today. It will be just like that scene in “A League of Their Own,” except everyone will look like Rosie O’Donnell.

3. According to research released on Wednesday, dogs are capable of feeling jealousy. Well Fido, now you know how I feel every time you lick yourself.

4. Last month was the hottest June on record. While the least hottest June remains Mama June from “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.”

5. According to a recent poll, Vladimir Putin’s approval rating in Russia is at an all-time high. Which is good news for Putin and great news for that pollster and his loved ones.

6. Beverly Hills police have told Justin Bieber’s neighbors that they have the right to make a citizen’s arrest if the pop star continues to throw loud parties and disturb the peace. Does the same rule apply when he’s in concert?

7. The FDA has placed a recall on various fruit items, including peaches and nectarines, sold at Walmart due to a possible Listeria contamination. Said Walmart customers, “What’s fruit?”

8. New Yorkers awoke to find two white flags hung in place of the American flags that traditionally flutter atop the Brooklyn Bridge on Tuesday morning. So it’s official, Americans have become so fat that the Brooklyn Bridge has surrendered.

9. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame announced that it will display six of Beyonce’s outfits starting next week. And, if you’re interested in seeing the outfits of the other members of Destiny’s Child, check your local Goodwill.

10. The Florida cat that made national news earlier this month after its owners said it had trapped them in their bedroom will return home after a 10-day quarantine in an animal shelter. “Who’s bedroom!?!” said the cat.

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