1. Experts estimate that during the SuperBowl New Jersey’s MetLife Stadium will sell almost 21,000 hotdogs. So I guess Chris Christie got a ticket to the game.
2. The first gay couple ever on a children’s channel appeared this week on an episode of the Disney Channel’s “Good Luck Charlie.” “So now maybe we can push the beds together,” said Ernie.
3. The Hong Kong tycoon who offered millions of dollars to any man who could win the heart of his lesbian daughter says the proposal is now off the table. “Really? I just got done reading the fine print,” said Chaz Bono.
4. Operators of a high-end drug trafficking and prostitution ring planning on delivering ‘party packs’ of cocaine and prostitutes over SuperBowl weekend were arrested on Thursday in New York. In unrelated news, former New York Governor Elliot Spitzer has canceled his SuperBowl party due to “unforeseen circumstances.”
5. On Thursday, while administering a search warrant on a home in California, police discovered hundreds of snakes, many of which were dead. When reached for comment, actor Samuel L. Jackson said, “I think you know my feelings on this subject.”
6. Yesterday Miami Beach police reported that a urine sample taken from Bieber after his arrest last week in Florida tested positive for marijuana, Xanax and Flintstone chewable vitamins.
7. On Thursday, Miami Beach police revealed details of Justin Bieber’s time in custody, including the results of a urine-drug test. Police say the pop star received no special treatment while in custody, but they did allow him to give his sample by peeing into a mop bucket as he is accustomed to.
8. Kid Rock will kick off SeaWorld’s “Bands, Brews & BBQs” this weekend, bucking a trend of artists dropping the show to avoid controversy about how the theme park treats its orca whales. But, if Kid Rock follows through and the stage is near the Orca exhibit it will only increase the evidence that these animals are being treated inhumanely.
9. American student Amanda Knox was found guilty of murder on Thursday for the second time by the Italian Supreme Court, in a retrial that reversed an earlier appeal judgment. “Wait, they can do that?” said O.J.
10. RNC Chairman Reince Priebus said on Thursday he accepted an apology from the president of MSNBC over a tweet from the network that said “the rightwing” might disapprove of a Cheerios television ad featuring a biracial family. Priebus added, “But none of this changes our disapproval of Snap, Crackle and Pop’s ‘lifestyle.’”
11. According to a new study, nearly 99 percent of women went ahead with an abortion after voluntarily viewing an ultrasound image of the fetus beforehand. Said the women, “At least I got one baby picture out of it.”
12. It has been reported that a thirty second commercial during this weekend’s SuperBowl will run advertisers $4 million. The last time someone paid that much money for something that lasted thirty seconds was during Tiger Wood’s divorce proceedings.
13. A new study finds, obese drivers may be at a higher risk of dying in car crashes than normal-weight drivers due to their frequent failure to buckle-up. That wouldn’t be the case if they took my advice and posted speed limit signs in drive-thrus.