1. Yesterday, Russian President Vladimir Putin showed up fifty minutes late to a scheduled meeting with the Pope at the Vatican. Said the Pope, “Do you believe this fucking guy?”
2. A man who worked as a Santa Claus in a Massachusetts shopping mall has been ordered not to put on the red suit until a court resolves a charge that he groped an adult co-worker over the weekend. But, in the man’s defense, she was sending him all the signals; She sat on his lap and called herself “a good girl.”
3. On Tuesday, MSNBC announced that it had cancelled Alec Baldwin’s late night talk show. Baldwin reportedly took the news well and was gracious … Just kidding, he called everyone the n-word and spit on a few people as he stormed out.
4. Court documents filed on Monday show a recent search of the house of George Zimmerman’s girlfriend uncovered five weapons and more than 100 rounds of ammunition. So for this Thanksgiving, she should just be thankful she’s alive.
5. Pope Francis on Tuesday called for big changes in the Roman Catholic Church, saying the church needs to rethink old rules and customs that are no longer understood or effective. So get ready for casual Fridays.
6. Arnon Milchan, producer of such Hollywood films as “Pretty Woman” and “Fight Club,” confirmed on Tuesday that he was an Israeli secret spy who helped developed the country’s nuclear program. Looks like someone forgot the first rule.
7. On Tuesday, O.J. Simpson lost his latest legal fight as a Nevada judge upheld his conviction on kidnapping, armed robbery and other charges. Which begs the question, while O.J.’s locked-up, who’s gonna look for Nicole’s killer?
8. On Tuesday, O.J. Simpson lost his latest legal fight as a Nevada judge upheld his conviction on kidnapping, armed robbery and other charges. Although it seemed very un-judge-like to use air-quotations and wink when mentioning the “other charges.”
9. According to the government’s National Survey on Drug Use and Health, about 1 in 6 unemployed workers are addicted to alcohol or drugs. While the over five are working on it.
10. The Republican Party of Florida called on Republican Congressman Trey Radel on Monday to resign after he pleaded guilty last week to misdemeanor cocaine possession. Said a representative for the party, “Mr. Radel no longer properly represents his constituency. The average Republican from Florida would have had much more cocaine and never would have pled guilty.”