1. During his weekly radio program, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie said he “kicked the President’s ass” when the two took part in a boardwalk carnival game of football toss. Christie said throwing the ball thru the tire was the easy part, the hard part was throwing away something made out of pig.
2. On Thursday, actor Josh Duhamel and wife, singer Fergie, welcomed their first child, a baby boy, in the world. Fergie reportedly was in labor for over seven hours, but everyone knows Will.i.am did most of the work.
3. Scientists have found a genetic mechanism in mice that hampers their body clock’s ability to adjust to changes in patterns of light and dark, and say their results could someday lead to the development of drugs to combat jetlag. This comes as great news to the business mouse on the go.
4. On Wednesday, the Oxford English Dictionary added the words “twerk,” “selfie” and “srysly” to its official lexicon. And, in a related story, the Oxford English Dictionary changed the definition of “dictionary” to “big book of nonsense.”
5. Yesterday, President Obama said he teared-up watching “the Butler,” a movie about an African-American man who served for 34 years at the White House during the civil rights movement. Paula Deen also teared-up during the movie, but for different reasons.
6. On Tuesday, Japanese automaker Nissan said it will begin selling autonomous, self-driving cars by the year 2014. Or, as Lindsay Lohan refers to it, ten years too late.
7. Drive-in garages, where clients can visit prostitutes in private are being touted as a way to get large numbers of prostitutes off of Switzerland’s otherwise pristine streets. The garages charge $15 per half-hour, but if you want to park backwards, that costs extra.
8. Monday night during the MTV Video Music Awards at Brooklyn’s Barclay’s Center, singer Miley Cyrus caused an uproar by simulating sex with “Blurred Lines” lead-singer Robin Thicke. But, since the Barclay’s Center is home to the Brooklyn Nets, the crowd was used to seeing someone blow the lead.
9. Over the weekend, former heavyweight champion Mike Tyson said he was on the “verge of dying” due to drugs and alcohol but has been sober now for six days. So let this be a lesson to all you kids, the man with the face tattoo may not be as together as he seems.
10. American Eric “Mean” Melin was crowned air guitar world champion on Friday after his rendition of Weezer’s “Dope Note” took home first place at the annual competition in Finland. The trophy will look great next to all his other imaginary accomplishments.