1. On Sunday, Iran rejected the West’s demand for it to get rid of its sensitive nuclear material by shipping it out of the country. Said the West, “Okay, but if you’re gonna be that way, just know that it ends with us ‘shipping’ some of our sensitive nuclear material into your country.”
2. Civil and church authorities have moved to prevent a funeral in Rome for Erich Priebke, a Nazi war criminal convicted of one of Italy’s worst wartime massacres, who died last week at the age of 100. Italians opposed to the burial believe that such a man does not deserve the common courtesy of being buried within the country’s borders, while Italians in favor of the burial point to the fact that if Priebke isn’t buried in Italy it will be much more difficult to piss on his grave.
3. The President of the World Bank on Saturday warned the U.S. that it is “days away” from causing a global economic disaster unless politicians come up with a plan to raise the nation’s debt limit and avoid default. U.S. politicians are working on a plan, the best they have come up with so far is ducking the World Bank’s collection agency’s phone calls.
4. According to a large study, middle-aged women working night shifts didn’t suffer any long-term impairment in their thinking skills. Although, let’s be honest, if the best work you can find involves working the night shift, those thinking skills weren’t great to start with.
5. Dennis Kimetto and Rita Jeptoo led an all-Kenyan sweep of the Chicago marathon over the weekend. And, in other news, water is still wet.
6. On Friday, Chinese officials said that they will install GPS systems in government cars to thwart personal use and government corruption. So now, maybe, my delivery food will come on time for once.
7. Over the weekend, Disney unveiled its plans for a giant “Avatar” themed attraction at its Orlando park. But don’t get too excited, they just added some blue people to the old “Dances with Wolves” ride.
8. Facebook’s billionaire CEO Mark Zuckerberg recently spent $30 million to buy four houses adjacent to his Palo Alto home over privacy concerns. Oh Mark, are you worried about your neighbors spying on you and selling that information to complete strangers? I wonder what that feels like?
9. On Friday, Peter Jansen, a South African man, was sentenced to two years in prison after pleading guilty to helping transport 3,243 abalone as part of an international crime-ring. Jansen was caught after he tried to pay someone in actual clams.
10. Yesterday was the last day of New York’s Comic Con, in which thousands of people descended upon the city dressed as their favorite comic book and fantasy characters. So, if you see someone dressed as Princess Leia today, that just a crazy person.